Saturday, June 4, 2011

Broken trust

My rant today is about broken trust. I had a friend who I thught was one of my closest friends. She moved in next door to me and our daughters are "BFFs". She violated my trust in the worst way possible. Most of you know the challenges I face as a parent of a child with bipolar isn't easy and it isn't always pretty. My son is 14 and is several inches taller than me and out weighs me by a bit now. Adult size body....kid size brain. This is a tough time for a lot of parents and even tougher still for parents whos kids have ADD, bipolar, or some other mental disorder. Over the weekend my son "lost his bananas". He went a little ballistic and my husband had to step in (for the first time) to physically restrain him. Prior to this I have always been able to do so but he is big now so I had to have some assistance. This is something parents with kids like this go through all of the time. It sucks, makes you sad, angry, disappointed and all of those other emotions you go through when things like this happen. My son has the best doctor in the state and we are constantly getting thing re evaluated to make sure we are doing our best to help him as he learns to deal with his disorder and discovers what tools work to help him. This incident would have been like every other one with one (figured out, dealth with, and learned from) except that I confided in my friend and "vented or blew off steam". You all know what I am talking about.....where you just let it all out so you don't bottle that stuff up, say things you don't really mean, blah blah just to clear your emotional garbage so you can move on. Well, she decided after several days (and letting her child come play at my house...even asking me to watch her) to call Child Protective Services on my family. She did not come to me and tell me that she was worried about me and the kids....the situation....or even ask me if things were ok, had we found solutions etc. She simply reported us. What this did is scare the ever loving crap out of my little daughter and my son. They were terrorized because they thought they would be taken from us. My daughter has "lost her best friend" because I won't allow her to go over there anymore and I am pretty sure they she won't let her daughter come here either. I am so sad for my little girl. I have other friends to lean on who know me better than to take my venting like she did. My daughter only has a couple of friends that live close. I am speechless. All she did was cause emotional trauma to the very kids she was trying to "protect". I have no words for this....I told my son's doctor that CPS had been called on us and he said. "Tell them to call me if they have any questions.....I will vouch for your family. You guys really don't need this". So anyway, I guess the lesson here is that even with people you think you know.....and think know have to be careful what you say and how you say it because common sense is an elite comodity and you never know who will lose thiers and become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

Thats it for today.


  1. HI Randi,

    I feel for you in your situation. I know what its like to want to talk to someone about stuff without them taking it seriously. I am sorry that you had to find out that she really was not your friend at all. If she was -- that would have never happened.

    I hope your kids are OK.

    Try to have a nice weekend, and don't go eat just because you are upset. :-)

  2. Hi Randi - My good friend Ester pointed me to your blog! First, Im so sorry about the situation with your friend. I can see how you will lose some trust in people along with a good friend to your and your daughter! Im going to bet she regrets handling it in that way and wishes she had been brave enough to talk to you about it in person instead.

    But secondly Im super thrilled to see what you are doing to get below 150. My lowest has been 143 on BFC, but Ive gained a few back and cant get back down without giving up grains. And Im not willing to do that. So excited to find another BFC Blogger!

  3. Hey Amber! I have been following your blog since week 1 of my BFC life. I love checking out your page for new ideas and products. :) Like you, I won't give up grains. I love bread! If anything, that has been my biggest "challenge". What I have found that works for me is the Orowheat Light bread, Francisco Whole Wheat hoagie rolls, and Orowheat whole grain english muffins. I will warn you though, a couple of the bread products I eat contain a tiny bit of sucralose....less than 2%. I have found that my body tolerates that very well and it is worth it to me to have a few more options. Mostly I just eat the bread though. Oh I also found some awesome hamburger buns we can eat. When we do any kind of "fast food" I take my own bun and ttranser the burger over. LOL. Probably the thing that has kicked me over the edge as far as loosing easily is that I don't always get my 6 servings of carbs. Im not trying to do it, but I am not a big fan of food in general so it is easy for me to miss servings. In all honesty, I probably get 3 to 4 servings most days. As for sugar....probably less than 5 grams a day. the only sugar I get is from my cereal and bread. ...and maybe a gram from a condiment here or there. If you have questions feel free to ask... I am not really counting things right now but I can start again if it will help anyone out there. :)