Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Prepare for the idiots :)

My rant today is about learning how to work with limitations, drawing and keeping boundaries, and making active decisions on how to let things go. People in life will continually fall short of your expectations. The reasons for this are many but the result is the same. It can cause dissappointment, anger, frustration, insult, etc. When the option to remove these people from our lives is non existant, what do we do? I think the first thing we do is acknowledge our limitations. We obviously can not control other people so we need to stop trying. Understand that these people are who they are whether we like it or not. Define the limitations so that you can avoid putting yourself in a situation to be disappointed in others. Learn what you can do to help yourself and insulate yourself from thier actions and words. One good way to do this is draw some specific personal boundaries when dealing with these people. What you will and will not do, how you will handle situations that may arise unexpectedly, and how much you are willing to overlook before taking a stand. Once you have very specific boundaries....keep them. Relenting or compromising your boundaries will only cause you problems later if not immediately. These boundaries need not be spoken about, just known by you. Prepare yourself for the struggles that will come as you make and hold these boundaries. If you have an idea or plan for how you are going to handle opposition, it will be easier to stand strong when the time comes. It will also allow you to handle the problems much more calmly and effectively. Last, now you have a plan but people will still try to mess it up. Make a active decision that you will let go of the negative feelings and turn your focus and energy to something positive. These people have wasted enough of your time give them one more moment is only hurting you because I promise you.....they don't care! Make this decision BEFORE the next thing happens. Be prepared so that it doesnt throw you for such a loop. Know that it will, it is inevitable. The empowering part is that you understand this and are already dealing with it before it happens.....a pre-emptive strike so to speak. you are minimizing collateral damage by ppreparing for these situations before hand. Plus, there is the added bonus of the confidence you have knowing that you have set boundaries that others cannot break without your consent. This plan of action before action gives you control over you!


  1. Hi Randi, I don't know what happened but Wat ever it was - you sound a tad upset about it. I hope it works itself out quickly.
    All your advise is great.
    Have a great day :-)

  2. I wanted to say the same thing as "Me" said above....Your the best person I know for setting boundaries, I honestly don't know how you can do it, its a trait I humbly will say I lack!

    Just remember.....the "Idiots" in life usually don't plan to hurt your, nor know they are even doing it half the time. Some times you just got to let it roll off, rather than building a wall. I like it when people are honest and tell me if I did something wrong (like the time I said something in a text message to John that came out wrong), it gives me a chance to apologize, hopefully make their day better.....and improve myself as well. We can't go through life with thinking we have all the answers and are complete with information in our bubble around us, we have to be open for constructive criticism, especially from people you love, or as you said people your "stuck with" which are usually the people you love in one way or another.

    Coming from "the ex" LOL I can say I think of you and John, Ross & Ally as family. You don't get to choose who your family is most circumstances (regardless of marriage, until you have kids). I will also say I love you guys, and your family. I only want whats best for you. If I won the lottery tomorrow you'd be on my list of people to bless, and you are always in my prayers.

    I know because I'm the "ex" I'm not always going to make you happy, in part because I'm also a mother, and those lines get very grey (as we've talked about before)....but you can also rest assured that I'm not going anywhere. No matter how mad I may get, or I may make you, I'm always here, now its your choice to take that as a good thing or a bad thing....ha ha, but I mean it in the sense of "I'm not going anywhere, and will always be here for you." No matter how mad I was, I would save your life in an instant, I'd comfort you when you were sad, I'd pick you up if you needed a ride, and amongst other things I'm still going to pray for you when I go to bed at night. Because to me, thats what "family" is all about.

    I hope your day goes great, as I know it will, you are way to strong to let an "idiot" (even me) ruin your day! Love ya!