Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Prepare for the idiots :)
My rant today is about learning how to work with limitations, drawing and keeping boundaries, and making active decisions on how to let things go. People in life will continually fall short of your expectations. The reasons for this are many but the result is the same. It can cause dissappointment, anger, frustration, insult, etc. When the option to remove these people from our lives is non existant, what do we do? I think the first thing we do is acknowledge our limitations. We obviously can not control other people so we need to stop trying. Understand that these people are who they are whether we like it or not. Define the limitations so that you can avoid putting yourself in a situation to be disappointed in others. Learn what you can do to help yourself and insulate yourself from thier actions and words. One good way to do this is draw some specific personal boundaries when dealing with these people. What you will and will not do, how you will handle situations that may arise unexpectedly, and how much you are willing to overlook before taking a stand. Once you have very specific boundaries....keep them. Relenting or compromising your boundaries will only cause you problems later if not immediately. These boundaries need not be spoken about, just known by you. Prepare yourself for the struggles that will come as you make and hold these boundaries. If you have an idea or plan for how you are going to handle opposition, it will be easier to stand strong when the time comes. It will also allow you to handle the problems much more calmly and effectively. Last, now you have a plan but people will still try to mess it up. Make a decision....an active decision that you will let go of the negative feelings and turn your focus and energy to something positive. These people have wasted enough of your time already....to give them one more moment is only hurting you because I promise you.....they don't care! Make this decision BEFORE the next thing happens. Be prepared so that it doesnt throw you for such a loop. Know that it will, it is inevitable. The empowering part is that you understand this and are already dealing with it before it happens.....a pre-emptive strike so to speak. you are minimizing collateral damage by ppreparing for these situations before hand. Plus, there is the added bonus of the confidence you have knowing that you have set boundaries that others cannot break without your consent. This plan of action before action gives you control over you!